I am restless. Like really, really restless.
My body can’t keep still and my mind won’t take a break. I’m done with school for the year. I’m on a break from running. No more late night meetings and early morning wake up calls. I can finally take a break. I thought this was what I was waiting for.
But it’s been 2 weeks. TWO WEEKS. That’s long enough of a break for me. It really is. People who work hard deserve breaks. I worked hard. I took my break. And now I need to be doing something again. I don’t need a break anymore. I haven’t done anything to deserve a break.
There’s an old Italian saying that goes “Il dolce far niente” . It means “the sweetness of doing nothing”. Well, I’ve had my share of sweetness. I can’t stand the sweetness anymore. It’s making me sick. I wish I could act more Italian and enjoy this sweetness…. and believe me, I’ve tried. It just drives me crazy in the end.
So, I’m making a plan. I’m doing something I never thought I would do. And I’m not doing it because I have no other choice or because this is the end of the line for me. I’m doing it because God works the most effectively when we lay our dreams down and pick up what He’s holding out.
Through the last 3 years and past months and weeks and days, I have learned something. I learned that:
If you are brave enough to leave behind everything familiar and comforting (which can be from your house to old bitter resentments) and set out on a truth seeking journey either internally or externally, and if you are truly willing to regard everything that happens to you on that journey as a clue & accept everyone you meet along the way as a teacher, and if you are prepared, most of all, to face and forgive some VERY difficult realities about yourself, then the truth will not be withheld from you.
Given my experiences, I can’t help but believe this. And even more importantly, I can’t help but believe that this truth is Jesus. And He will set me free.
Free from this restlessness.
I’m ready to sick my head out of a car window, let my hair loose and enjoy that feeling of freedom.
Let’s just go somewhere. Let’s do things and live life and meet people and not think about food until we are hungry or where we will lay our heads until we are tired.
Let’s free our minds from this restless bondage of the GREAT UNKNOWN.
Besides, There’s a GREAT FOREVER awaiting.
Shalom & Much Love